funny short stories for seniors printable

please advise.' The old man faxed back: 'Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap.'Ī funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to herīutt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. It read: 'Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife dead at the bottom of the ocean. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard. Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.'Īn elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.' When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea. Now I think I know where to find my hearing aid.' Then she said, 'Ethel, I'm glad you saw this thing. Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' She pulled it out and stared at it. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning.

Old Folks Short Stories Courtesy of Prentiss F.

Funny short stories for seniors printable